How Anxiety & Depression Interfered with My Consistency
That word consistent/consistency is a word of blah.. blah.. blah.. We talk about it so much that we often lack it. I myself have struggled with this forevaaa. (Cardi B Voice)
I first needed to figure out why I couldn’t be consistent in more than one thing. I would always get excited about starting a new venture and then that would quickly fade away.
This typical thing went on for years and my Husband would always say you give up to quick or that you’re just from one thing to the next. I never disagreed with it because I also realized this was a big problem I was having.
Now fast forward to 2017 when I decide to dig deeper and figure out what was really going on. As most of you know I quit my job March 2017. I felt like I was free and I could focus on all my writing and exercise and get my life back on my own schedule. I was wrong! I was sleeping in the middle of the day going to bed early. Low energy no motivation to do much of anything. I felt like my life revolved around eating, sleeping and my damn couch.
I went to my yearly check up to get bloodwork done because of family history. I always want to make sure I’m staying ahead of any health issues. I also had some concerns about the frequent anxiety attacks I’ve been having and I needed to figure out what was going on.
SO IN COMES Anxiety & Depression questions. Pretty much I suffered from Moderate Anxiety and Slight Depression. Now mind you I didn’t feel like I was depressed, but when I listened to my doctor and Behavioral Health Specialist. a lot of the things I was experiencing were clear signs of Mental Health issues. Some of with I’ve struggled with way longer than just in my adult life.
One thing I couldn’t deal with was always explaining to people a feeling that I couldn’t really explain myself. That was hard no one understood and I couldn’t explain. My husband finally went to my appointment with me to get a better understanding of what I was going through.
So my inconsistency had a lot to do with my Mental State, and all the things I was going through. How can you be consistent in anything when you basically have no clue about your Mental Health. I never spoke about this publicly until I was able to speak freely with my support circle. Having that support of my close friends helped me to realize that talking about what I was going through could help someone else.
One of my friends Gabby has been my rock throughout this entire ordeal. She would send a random text of support and words of wisdom, and I tried my best to be there for her as well. But her blog post and her transparency help me to understand what I was going through. She is consistently speaking out and trying to educate people on Mental Health in the Black Community.
Your inconsistency may or may not have anything to do with you being consistent. You may just need to become more organized. My transition started small. I want to give you all a few tips on how I started to become consistent in my everyday life.
- Walking Everyday (My accountability partners were my kids.)
- Taking my medication (I would take it every morning. A routine.)
- I send a Friday Email every week. (This helped me with my work routine.)
- Scheduling Post ( This helped me to make sure I was active on my accounts.)
Through this transition, my phone would say on DND (Do Not Disturb) It gave me the opportunity to not hear my phone go off or be distracted when I wanted to get some work done. This transition hasn’t been easy, but being consistent in a few things have helped me with the discipline to be consistent all around. It’s still a struggle. Sometimes when I forget to write my Friday Email, but when I do I write it I’ll send it no matter what time it is. Because now I realize that people actually read it and they have started to respond. That brings me joy! It also helps me to see the benefit of staying consistent.
If you are having trouble with consistency, lack of motivation and feeling lost or hopeless. Seek help.
If you want to offer support or share your story about Anxiety or Depression please feel free to email it to info@cinquantacoxsmith.
Stay a little while- expect more.